If you’ve ever tried yin yoga you’ll know that even though it’s extremely slow moving, it’s one of the hardest forms of yoga to do. Yin yoga is a series of poses (seated) that are held for about five minutes at a time.
Here are some examples of yin yoga poses (all of the poses shown here are held for about 5-10 minutes each).
While in most other forms of yoga poses are held not only physically and mindfully but with the use of bondas (or firmness of certain areas of the body). The difference in yin is that instead of placing ourselves into a pose and mindfully remaining strong, we relax into the pose. For example pigeon pose (or swan pose in yin yoga) usually requires us to firm our back leg, firm our front foot activating the front leg, and breathing into the pose for five to ten breaths, in yin your feet are relaxed, and while your thighs and hips will not be at first (they might be tight or uncomfortable) the point of yin yoga is to find relaxation in the pose, or to find comfort in the discomfort. If you’ve ever tried sitting in one position (cross-legged even) for an extended period of time, not moving, focusing on your breath, and trying not to allow your brain to wander, you will know that yin yoga is not fun, not fun at all.
Here are my reasons why:
1. It’s uncomfortable most of the time.
– sitting with this discomfort is torture at times. In yin you are asked to stay in a pose for sometimes ten minutes. Most of the poses are hip openers and are meant not only to get to the deep connective tissues but to also deal with why we are tight in the first place (physically and emotionally).
2. It’s difficult not to wander
– In my first class I swore the instructor (a good friend of mine) forgot to tell us to get out of the pose, I looked up, to see if I had not heard her, or if she had wandered off in her thoughts like I had. She hadn’t, it was meant to last a tortuous amount of time. I even had the classic Elaine Benes freak out on the subway (Seinfeld episode) except on my yoga mat.
3. A lot of emotions come up
By sitting with ourselves for that amount of time and accepting whatever happens – be it an Elaine Benes rant, crying, anger, making plans in our heads, hating yin yoga – without judgements allows us to eventually let go. Granted this might not happen the first time you try it, but it will, if you can gather up the guts to try yin yoga again. (It took me over a year to try it again).
There were many reasons why it took me so long to try Yin yoga again, one of them being it is not fun at all, and another being I wasn’t ready to see yoga as physically passive yet emotionally juicy. If you follow any yoga blogs, or webpages, you’ll notice that many people try to define yoga –
yoga is not a work out
Yoga is a work out
Core yoga/butt yoga/weight loss yoga
if you don’t sweat it’s not yoga
yoga is a sport
yoga is a spiritual experience
I used to define yoga, and I still catch myself doing so at times. But something I have come to realize recently is that none of these statements are true. In this last year I have strived to try as many forms of yoga as I could. And because of that I have learned that there is no one way to do yoga, and you can’t categorize it as good or bad, authentic or inauthentic, because the reality is yoga is a lot of things. On any given day yoga can be spiritual, it can be rejuvinating, it can be a work out, and it can also be yin. Yoga is what you need it to be.
Today I needed it to be yin. My emotions have been crazy these last few days (mostly due to my cycle but also the many changes, and changes within changes, taking place). In one minute I could be a-ok and in the next I could be completely PMSing, or panicking in my head about the lack of time, organization of the military – you name it, I’ve panicked about it in the last few days. I couldn’t concentrate, I felt lost and stressed and I was beginning to have no trust in any of my abilities. And so I decided to sit with myself this morning. Feel the burn and force myself to just be.
That’s what yin does: there is no flow to keep up with, no mastering of a pose, there is just you and your joints. There are no adustments to make you seem bendy, you can’t pretend that you don’t have tight hips, or that you can do wide legged forward fold (seated), you are forced to accept these things, and you see by letting go, that these things don’t really matter because if you were to define yoga it wouldn’t be a work out or a spiritual experience, it would just be yoga, yoga is in everything, in every movement, any BODY can do yoga, and when you finally see that, you realize yoga is just connection, union. When you finally allow yourself to let go in a yin pose you realize that even though you can’t even partially do turtle pose (me this morning) the fact that you sat with it and let yourself experience the moment (cry), accept it, but not let it define you, you’ve done it, you’ve welcomed yoga into your life.
For me Yin yoga is about connecting with yourself, allowing yourself to feel whatever it is you need to feel. When sitting in an uncomfortable position for five minutes you have no choice but to eventually feel, eventually get to what is hidden deep in your tissues. A year ago this is definitely not how I would have defined yin yoga, because back then yoga was different in my life. Don’t let others tell you what yoga is, or who can do yoga, let it be what it is for you in this moment, and one day you’ll find yourself sitting in a random pose letting yourself cry it out and you’ll see just how mystifying yoga can be.
Today I explore the idea of the teacher. I realized this morning that not only is the instructor my teacher, but my yoga mat with all that it means to me is a teacher as well. But also, sharing yoga with J has shown me that he too, has been my teacher these last two weeks. There is an opportunity to learn something from each and every situation, memory, significance, relationship, or environment in our lives.
I’ve mentioned in an earlier post that J has been coming with me to yoga while on vacation.
Here is his back story concerning yoga:
J is very athletic, and he loves getting outside and doing any sport any time of year, he excels at almost everything he does. However, up until two and a half weeks ago he had never tried yoga, except at his triathlon training camp – but never in a yoga studio, in a yogic environment.
When I first started practicing yoga, he didn’t quite understand it’s appeal. I think his misconceptions of what yoga was changed when we moved to northern Quebec and he saw how dedicated I was to the practice in a place with no studio. When I chose to go to teacher training he decided that once I was qualified he would let me teach him yoga. Up until that point, he believed he needed to be “fit” to do yoga, just like many people who are afraid, or intimidated by yoga believe.
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I was thrilled he decided to give it a try when I returned from India. Imagine how excited I was when he told me he would like to accompany me to yoga now on vacation, I was beyond thrilled. I have wanted nothing more than to share this wonderful practice with him.
There are so many benefits to yoga, to list them would take forever, lets just say beyond the physical it reduces stress, increases memory, improves breathing (we honestly don’t know how to breathe), increases flexibility, decreases (or diminishes) anxiety and depression, helps relax the mind and body increasing the quality of sleep and of life, helps digestion, the immune system, the lymphatic system – and all systems in the body for that matter, I can go on and on.
Saying these things to J or to anyone else means nothing, in order to understand all of these claims you need to get onto your mat (or any mat) and see for yourself. I know for me, when I was told these things before I tried yoga, it sounded like a bunch of hooey, but everything does before you try it!
It has taken all of my will power to not bombard J with information and questions about his practice, I am what you would call a bit controlling and bossy. I want so much for J to experience all that I have on the mat, but what I have forgotten is this is HIS experience, and it will be what it will be, and I need to allow him to find his own way on his mat.
Speaking of mats, he asked me a question today. He bought himself a thick mat, but it is a bit slippery, and this morning he eyed my mat, and asked me if it was slip resistant. I asked him why, and he replied that he would like to take my mat to Kingston with him. Now to a newbie like my husband my mat is just that, a mat. But to me, it is much more than that.
After my summer of yoga challenge last year, the thought of not having a thin mat to travel with was just not happening, so I invested in a travel mat. This mat is MY MAT. It’s the mat I roll out every morning, it’s the place I can be vulnerable. My mat, I have learned to believe, understands every fall out of a posture, and brings me back into the posture. It’s my reminder when I wake up and see it of what my practice is and where it is taking me. It reminds me of how far I have come by bringing yoga into my life, and the difficulties of learning the hard lessons I have learned on my mat. The thought of not having it with me is really and truly unimaginable. (I’m bringing it to India with me even though they provide us with mats. It’s my mat, and I will become trained as a yoga teacher on it).
My mat, as you may have noticed, is an extension of myself. My mat sees all and accepts every single part of me. It has helped me learn so much about life and yoga, and about myself. On it I let go of responsibilities, stresses, worries, and I listen. My yoga mat allows me to let go, reminds me that I am safe to explore and because of all of these things it is a teacher in its own right. These are the reasons why I can’t share my mat even with my beloved.
So, my answer to him, was “no, I’m sorry but I don’t think I can do that. But here is the link where you can buy your own manduka mat”. He tried to convince me, but my answer remained I’m sorry but no. In my mind this morning, I saw that he didn’t get it yet, but that’s ok. He sees a mat while I see my salvation, my self-discovery, my life path. He may never find that, and that too is ok. I’m just happy that he has found yoga, and I can finally share this with him. Whether he one day finds his own yogic path or not is for him to decided, for now, I’m excited for him to continue on this path, and am waiting for the day that I can dedicate a practice all for him when I return from India.
Practicing in a class environment has reminded me that yoga isn’t the same for everyone, and it doesn’t have to be, that is the beauty of yoga. It is yours to mould as you would like it to serve you. Inevitably you will get all of the benefits yoga has to offer, physical, biological and emotional. It can be more than this, it can be a lifestyle, but it doesn’t need to be. Either way, it is healthy, positive, and will increase your self-awareness. I had gotten so involved in my own practice I forgot how individual the practice of yoga really is. I’m glad I got this important reminder, I think it’s a lesson every good teacher should understand in his or her students. With my bossy and controlling tendencies this is probably a lesson I will need to learn over and over again. But I also know, that I will just be thrilled to share yoga to the extent people will allow me to, and bring some understanding, positivity, growth, or even just some flexibility into someone’s life.
I read an article today about the three things you need to practice yoga, and one thing that stuck out for me was how little we know about ourselves until we do something like yoga. We walk through live literally not knowing how to breathe. If you have ever done yoga you’ll understand. When we first practice yoga and practice ujjayi breath, it hurts, I know for me my thought as I looked at all of the experienced yogis, one of them being my sister, breathing deeply and audibly, was “oh my god why don’t I know how to breathe?!”
Here is a description of ujjayi or victorious breath:
Yoga helps you discover yourself, like the author of the article suggests, yoga doesn’t need to be spiritual, but it is a way to self-discovery. On your mat you face all of your fears. I was reminded of this today in yoga. This particular instructor really likes to push his students, and in the two classes I’ve taken with him, he has pushed me further than I have ever gone in many poses. He has instinctively noticed, without having spoken with me, that I am tight at my hips and shoulders, and he hasn’t hesitated to push me. Every time he does, as today in bow pose, he asks afterwards are you alright? As if he knows, I am holding onto many emotions. Today he focused on bow and reclined pigeon pose.
In bow the instructor helped me bring my feet closer to my shoulders, it was the deepest I’ve gotten into the pose, it felt scary but exhilarating at the same time.
As you can see in this picture of reclined pigeon the person is holding onto her thigh, that is the beginner version. The instructor today got me to grab my knee. I had to lift my shoulders to do this, and he pushed me back down to the floor. While in this pose you bring your bent leg closer to your chest with your arms, and push your extended knee away from your body while flexing the foot on your knee. This is meant to open your hips, it’ an awesome pose for this, but as with all hip openers, it’s painful physically and emotionally.
In reclined pigeon I felt ridiculous. He made me get my arms over my knee (I usually grab onto my thigh) by grabbing my knee I had to pull harder, and because I’m not flexible in my hips I couldn’t do the pose. You probably imagine that I felt ridiculous because of how I looked, I thought so too, but when I explored those feelings I realized it wasn’t that at all, it was disgust in myself – the same old story – that I don’t deserve the practice because I can’t do it. I immediately changed that train of thought and realized that the pose doesn’t matter, it’s the practice that does. And so I breathed and I allowed the instructor to lead me into the pose.
In other poses I have learned to find my strength. One such pose is warrior 2 pose.
When I first started practicing yoga, I hated this pose (and yes I meant to use the word hate). I would get into it and immediately feel exhausted. The action of separating my legs, bending one knee, and keeping my arms extended was daunting. I would either REALLY slack in the pose, or in some cases not do it at all. But after awhile I began to find strength in the pose. I learned to actively extend my arms, to breathe deeply through the posture, keep my core centred and slowly the pose wasn’t so bad. Actually now I love this pose and in practice I use it to find my centre again, find my strength, or on some days, as the name of the pose suggests, find my inner warrior.
Even though for me warrior 2 and reclined pigeon (or any pose I do well vs I can’t yet do) are polar opposites of each other in terms of how they make me feel, each has something to teach me about myself. Reclined pigeon reminds me of what I still need to work on, and warrior 2 reminds me of how far I have come. By comparing them I can help myself through both poses. By remembering poses like warrior 2 while in pigeon I remember that this is only today, this pose, like my life, changes in every moment. By remembering poses like reclined pigeon while in warrior 2 I remember my practice, my goal, and the strength that has brought me here in life and on my mat.
I am also reminded of letting go of things and people that don’t serve me. The article states this nicely: “You are okay as you are. In fact you are great! If the people around you can’t see that or aren’t willing to support you in your quest for self-love and self-realization it is time to move on. Moving on from difficult relationships and letting go of that which does not serve you is the key to your own happiness”.
But this is my path, and whether one day J will realize that he can find emotional strength in his practice is up to him. I have to admit I love watching yoga bud and grow inside of him. Like everything else in yoga and in life, sharing this experience with J has taught me an important lesson: as a teacher or friend to step back and allow the ones I love or my students to explore yoga for themselves. It’s not very hard to do, because just watching him walk onto and off his mat proudly, and attempt every single pose, brings happiness to my heart. I must admit I’ve peaked at him from the mirror a few times in class, and while he claims he doesn’t necessarily like yoga but sees its benefits and will continue to practice, I know better because I’ve been there. The bud has been planted and before he knows it yoga will become something he doesn’t just “do” for doing’s sake,but something he practices in his own unique way.
Take a look around, who or what in your life is teaching you something?
Living yoga in a military wife's life 