Sometimes you just gotta put a little yin into your practice

If you’ve ever tried yin yoga you’ll know that even though it’s extremely slow moving, it’s one of the hardest forms of yoga to do. Yin yoga is a series of poses (seated) that are held for about five minutes at a time.

Here are some examples of yin yoga poses (all of the poses shown here are held for about 5-10 minutes each).

While in most other forms of yoga poses are held not only physically and mindfully but with the use of bondas (or firmness of certain areas of the body). The difference in yin is that instead of placing ourselves into a pose and mindfully remaining strong, we relax into the pose. For example pigeon pose (or swan pose in yin yoga) usually requires us to firm our back leg, firm our front foot activating the front leg, and breathing into the pose for five to ten breaths, in yin your feet are relaxed, and while your thighs and hips will not be at first (they might be tight or uncomfortable) the point of yin yoga is to find relaxation in the pose, or to find comfort in the discomfort. If you’ve ever tried sitting in one position (cross-legged even) for an extended period of time, not moving, focusing on your breath, and trying not to allow your brain to wander, you will know that yin yoga is not fun, not fun at all.

Here are my reasons why:

1. It’s uncomfortable most of the time.
– sitting with this discomfort is torture at times. In yin you are asked to stay in a pose for sometimes ten minutes. Most of the poses are hip openers and are meant not only to get to the deep connective tissues but to also deal with why we are tight in the first place (physically and emotionally).

2. It’s difficult not to wander
– In my first class I swore the instructor (a good friend of mine) forgot to tell us to get out of the pose, I looked up, to see if I had not heard her, or if she had wandered off in her thoughts like I had. She hadn’t, it was meant to last a tortuous amount of time. I even had the classic Elaine Benes freak out on the subway (Seinfeld episode) except on my yoga mat.

3. A lot of emotions come up
By sitting with ourselves for that amount of time and accepting whatever happens – be it an Elaine Benes rant, crying, anger, making plans in our heads, hating yin yoga – without judgements allows us to eventually let go. Granted this might not happen the first time you try it, but it will, if you can gather up the guts to try yin yoga again. (It took me over a year to try it again).

There were many reasons why it took me so long to try Yin yoga again, one of them being it is not fun at all, and another being I wasn’t ready to see yoga as physically passive yet emotionally juicy. If you follow any yoga blogs, or webpages, you’ll notice that many people try to define yoga –

yoga is not a work out
Yoga is a work out
Core yoga/butt yoga/weight loss yoga
if you don’t sweat it’s not yoga
yoga is a sport
yoga is a spiritual experience

I used to define yoga, and I still catch myself doing so at times. But something I have come to realize recently is that none of these statements are true. In this last year I have strived to try as many forms of yoga as I could. And because of that I have learned that there is no one way to do yoga, and you can’t categorize it as good or bad, authentic or inauthentic, because the reality is yoga is a lot of things. On any given day yoga can be spiritual, it can be rejuvinating, it can be a work out, and it can also be yin. Yoga is what you need it to be.

Today I needed it to be yin. My emotions have been crazy these last few days (mostly due to my cycle but also the many changes, and changes within changes, taking place). In one minute I could be a-ok and in the next I could be completely PMSing, or panicking in my head about the lack of time, organization of the military – you name it, I’ve panicked about it in the last few days. I couldn’t concentrate, I felt lost and stressed and I was beginning to have no trust in any of my abilities. And so I decided to sit with myself this morning. Feel the burn and force myself to just be.

That’s what yin does: there is no flow to keep up with, no mastering of a pose, there is just you and your joints. There are no adustments to make you seem bendy, you can’t pretend that you don’t have tight hips, or that you can do wide legged forward fold (seated), you are forced to accept these things, and you see by letting go, that these things don’t really matter because if you were to define yoga it wouldn’t be a work out or a spiritual experience, it would just be yoga, yoga is in everything, in every movement, any BODY can do yoga, and when you finally see that, you realize yoga is just connection, union. When you finally allow yourself to let go in a yin pose you realize that even though you can’t even partially do turtle pose (me this morning) the fact that you sat with it and let yourself experience the moment (cry), accept it, but not let it define you, you’ve done it, you’ve welcomed yoga into your life.

For me Yin yoga is about connecting with yourself, allowing yourself to feel whatever it is you need to feel. When sitting in an uncomfortable position for five minutes you have no choice but to eventually feel, eventually get to what is hidden deep in your tissues. A year ago this is definitely not how I would have defined yin yoga, because back then yoga was different in my life. Don’t let others tell you what yoga is, or who can do yoga, let it be what it is for you in this moment, and one day you’ll find yourself sitting in a random pose letting yourself cry it out and you’ll see just how mystifying yoga can be.

A Manifesto on the solo yoga practice

This morning I met the sun with a few sun salutations with a mixture of personal variations I have been working on. As I began to prepare for my practice I had a thought, how is my home practice different from practicing in a studio? Going to a studio always sparks a positive nervousness, a new kind of challenge, and a sense of community, but practicing at home is so much more important to me. I have pondered this question often, and I also have been asked, what it is that continuously brings me back to my mat every day. Here’s my answer.

Whenever I travel and come across other yogis, the conversation of my home practice always comes up. More often than not, people look at me with pity when I explain that where I’m from the concept of the yoga studio, as most of the world understands it, does not exist. Yes, there’s yoga, but it’s more like leisure guide style (a commitment of 10 or so weeks that once done also ends the yoga experience). While I loved taking classes from my yogi friend Lisa McKenna, a few months ago I noticed that I craved doing yoga alone.

When I explain to people that I practice alone, more often than not they look at me surprised, how do you commit to it? Isn’t that boring? What about variation? Where do you practice at home?

– it’s easy to commit to something that transforms you for the better.
– yoga is never boring, and never the same because our lives, feelings, and our realities change moment to moment.
– in terms of variation, I am my own teacher.
– it’s a challenge finding a space to practice (especially since we live in military housing at the moment) but that too was a lesson on finding peace in the midst of chaos.

My mat became my sanctuary, no matter where I lay it down, I am at peace.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the yoga studio atmosphere, and take advantage of it mostly every time I travel. There’s something special about the community setting, and everyone breathing in unison that can’t be described. The energy that is created when sharing the experience of yoga is magical. Nevertheless, after awhile I find myself craving my home practice. Most of the time I come across a new variation that I would like to reconfigure into my home practice, those days are always extra fun.

This last week I’ve been about 50 minutes from Montreal, and about half an hour away from the nearest yoga studio in Laval. Not once did I think to take a class. Practicing alone made so much more sense.

So why practice alone?

Personally, I don’t think a beginner should ever practice alone – for the very first time on the mat someone should be guided by an instructor to learn about alignment, the importance of breathing and ujjayi breath, and the sequencing of poses. I practiced in a studio for years before I ever attempted yoga at home. Once someone has a footing into what yoga is, and what it means to them, a home practice brings yoga to a whole new level.

There are many yoga instructors that filter in spirituality within the class atmosphere, but more often than not the emphasis is put on getting a good work out. This is not a bad thing, but practicing at home, for me at least, opened the door to a new level of what yoga is, something that I continue to discover each time I get onto my mat.

Yoga is a life-long pursuit.

Don’t get me wrong, I love sweating on my mat, I find it very therapeutic. But practicing at home, allows for the ability to practice almost every day and you quickly realize you can’t do that kind of intensity all of the time. There will be days that all you can fit in is a few sun salutations, or you are so tired that a yin yoga sequence, or a restorative sequence is all your body can handle.

But you can take this further: for instance when you are feeling lazy, and deep down you know you can do a power yoga class, or challenge yourself to an ashtanga practice, you do it, or when you are feeling really energized you can challenge yourself to a yin class or restorative practice – both of which I have done, and have found them to be very challenging.

When I am feeling lazy, and I know better than to succumb to the laziness (let’s be clear there have been days that I have succumbed to my laziness) getting on my mat for a difficult practice reminds me of times in our lives when we would rather dig our own grave than get up and face the challenges of that particular day.

And when I am feeling really energized but know its time to slow down and listen to my body, trying a yin class or a restorative practice will help me to deal with something or someone I may have been avoiding. Again, reminding me of times in life when we fill up our time with activities (eating, organizing the house, watching TV …) in order to avoid what is bothering us.

Yoga allows us to sit alone with our thoughts.

In the class atmosphere it’s easy to just adopt the instructors interpretation of what yoga is, never truly defining it for yourself. This is definitely not universal, there are many people I’m sure who have found their own path of yoga in a studio setting. It took me years to begin to ask questions about yoga, and it was only after I ventured out of the familiar (bikram yoga) that I began to ask the questions I had been avoiding, or too afraid to ask.

I have learnt more on my own than in any yoga class.

Traditionally, yoga was meant to be done alone – not only the asanas but all forms of yoga. Why is that?

There is no universal dogma that can encompass what yoga is, because to each person it is unique. Some people may get on the mat to fight inner demons, some others might fight their negative beliefs about themselves, others may be praying – it doesn’t matter – what does matter is that you find what it is that yoga, your soul, the universe is trying to teach you.

yoga is a very personal experience.

Some of us take our knowledge and want to spread what we have learned by teaching. I know for me, I have a deep need to teach yoga – not as I know it to be, but as a catalyst of change for each person – provide enough knowledge to get them thinking, but leaving it up to them to learn what it is that they need to learn on their mat.

we are our own teachers.

You can’t help but become intrigued with the feeling of opening your heart centre, or balancing in a pose that you couldn’t do just a week ago.

yoga forces us to look within, and only we can decipher the feelings, the language, that our heart is speaking.

Namaste

Revelations from my mat: I may not be a Care Bear, but I can teach

When people ask me what yoga is, I have difficult putting it into words. How can I describe this feeling of radiance? It’s almost like a giddy feeling, a knowing of something secret and special, that you have found and want desperately to share with everyone you meet.

At these times I kind of wish I was a Care Bear. The Care Bears had the ability to radiate rainbows from their hearts. When I feel this way I wish I could radiate the purity, the happiness, the thrill of being alive at this moment, to everyone I meet, through some tangible form, like a rainbow shooting out of my heart.

Yoga opens your eyes to endless possibilities. What seemed impossible, is now possible. You realize this in the postures but also in your heart:

-In the postures you put yourself in challenging situations, for example in a challenging balancing pose. A few months ago half moon pose was scary for me.

I would willingly put my hands to the ground, I would raise one leg, but when asked to let go of one hand bring it up and twist my body to form a vertical star with one leg and one hand on the ground while the other half of me was raised in the air, I couldnt do it, and when I managed to wobbly get into the posture, I would fall out immediately. I was afraid.

I was afraid of falling, that my arm and one leg could not support me, and that when I fell I couldn’t count on my body to steady my fall. I was also afraid of putting so much faith in my body, my heart, mySELF.  This is yoga. Learning to see that you have it in you to raise your leg and your arm, to balance yourself in the air, and to know that if you fall, you can steady your fall, you can count on yourself to protect the more vulnerable parts of your body. You learn to breathe, to meditate in that pose, and to listen to the knowledge that was already there – I can do this, I am doing this. You learn to trust yourself, and to learn from you body and your mind how to be the person that you were meant to be, without the fears, the doubts, the negativity, and past pains.

-In your heart, you begin to become aware of a truth older than you, a truth that radiates in everyone, that you are powerFUL not powerLESS.

When you realize this, the world opens up right in front of your eyes. The place in your heart that was so afraid just a moment of ago, is filled with an endless warmth, an endless love. You realize that that love is in you. It is your true SELF, the voice that has been whispering through the muck of fear all along. You realize that you were always able to do this. That even when yo are in a challenging situation in life, or in yoga, you have it in you to do it, and if you do fall, you have it in you to protect yourself, to get back up and continue to try.

The impossible then becomes possible, the possibilities become infinite.

But how do I transfer this knowledge, this secret that I and countless other people, have learned on our mats?

Yoga comes in many forms. You have famous gurus like Bikram or Iyengar that swear by their methods. You’ve got a mixture of yoga practices, Ashtanga, Yin Yoga, Moksha Yoga, Restorative Yoga, Power Yoga, Hatha Flow … etc. the list goes on and on.

Some schools teach that they are the true form of yoga, that any other yoga is not yoga at all. While I see that yoga has been transformed in the west, if done properly with the guide of a trained instructor, it can be as beneficial as any traditional forms of yoga.

In India I will be learning hatha yoga. Hatha yoga is basically the physical postures of yoga, passed on from generation to generation and evolving into the postures we all recognize today. Hatha yoga combines the asanas (or physical postures) with the breath. The postures combined with the breath in a sequence allow us to transform our bodies and minds, and through practice our physical body and mind and our essence/soul/energy become one, and we begin to heal.

My dream is to learn how to teach these postures, the benefits of these postures both physically, mentally, and emotionally, as a form of therapy/healing, but also as a lifestyle.

I believe that instead of isolating ourselves to one form of yoga, we should instead take what is valuable from each school of thought – what works for the individual – and utilize it to help them become peaceful, positive, healthy, etc.

I also believe that if I am to teach yoga, I better walk the walk and talk the talk. Teaching it, while being negative myself, not cultivating peace, is like teaching a language but not using proper grammar yourself. How can you preach what you don’t do? How can you teach without loving and immersing yourself in the transition or process? How can you teach something you don’t love and respect?

I want to teach by example. I want to transform people’s lives so they see that they have it in themselves to be happy. They have the ability of healing old hurts, they have the ability to change their life as they see fit, and they can heal their bodies and souls, by finding their truth. I want to guide them to that truth, whatever it may be for each individual.

By utilizing only one yoga style, or one path of yoga, I feel that I would limit the tools available to me as a teacher. This is why I chose to go to India, why I chose not to follow one form of yoga. I will create the form based on the student, I will meet their needs through the postures, the breath, and the style, in order to make the yoga not about me, but about the student and their personal journey.

I want yoga to do for others what it has done for me. I want people to find the strength inside themselves to change whatever needs to be changed in order to find happiness in their lives. That’s the only way I know to spread what I have learned from my heart to you. I may not be a Care Bear, but I can teach.