I don’t have many possessions, I often kid with J that I would leave him few things if I were to die: my cat, my DVD’s, my ipad, my Honda Civic – Electra (named due to the many times she shocked me), my yoga mat, and the money I have saved – nothing that would change his life, financially, in any real way. But all of these things mean a lot to me. Most signify key points of freedom and determination to get my life back on track.
Tomorrow I’m giving one of those things up, my car. When I returned from Greece I had no car, I had nothing other than the clothes on my back and a room waiting for me in the house I grew up in. I went from living from albeit paycheque to paycheque but living independently, to living at home, in the suburbs, in Winnipeg where nothing happens and there’s no where to go. I knew that if I were to survive living at home for as long as I had to, I needed freedom – I needed a car. I also needed a job. So the first thing I did was look for work. I ended up finding a job out of town at a swanky country restaurant. It didn’t pay very well, and the drive was no that great, but I had a job, all I needed now was a car. I was starting to work there a week after my interview, so I had seven days to find a car. I was told by various family members that I was crazy to think I could find, deal and have a car in the driveway in seven days. I was determined to prove them wrong, and I did. I found Electra.
She was the fist sign that I was getting my life back on track, and from the day that she became mine, until now (9.5 years later) she has always been there for me. She may now be a little rusty and warn around the edges, but I will never forget that she gave me freedom when I felt trapped in a life I thought I had put in my past. She moved me out of my parents house into my very fist apartment. She moved me into my first condo. And later moved me into J’s condo. She has been broken into in -40 degree weather in downtown Winnipeg. She’s been in two car accidents (one of which was on the day J was leaving for Afghanistan – talk about adding on stress – luckily it was a minor accident but nonetheless it was not needed on that day!) She has moved J, my cat, and me to Quebec trailer in tow, she has never let me down driving to Montreal and back these last 4.5 years (other than her temperamental refusal to start fiasco last winter – but with a little tender love and car she calmed down and came back to best friend status in no time). She has a Canadian flag sticker on her dashboard to remind me of what I had taken for granted when I ran away to Greece. Her passenger side door sticks on lock randomly and she is a little rusty, but she has been and will be a wonderful companion because tomorrow, I am giving her away. My time with her is done.
I am feeling a bit emotional over this, and for good reason. She was the beacon of hope when I had no hope, and she’s been there through everything from the time I came back from Greece up until now. But I know deep in my heart it is time to say good bye. Her time in my life is done. She’s done was she was meant to do because now I am on my feet and my past is behind me. It’s time for new adventures and new friends.
Today begins a series of goodbyes, some of things we will be leaving behind in saguenay, and of friends who we may or may not see again. I am not fond of goodbyes, they’ve always kind of scared me, but maybe we never really do have to say goodbye because even if things or people remain in our past they are still a part of the events and experiences that make us who we are today. In a way, we carry everyone we meet, and every experience we’ve had in our hearts because without these things we wouldn’t be who we are today.
I know that without the purchase of my car I wouldn’t have found the courage to get up and move on with my life. I would have been stuck. I also know without the many friends that I have made here in saguenay I wouldn’t have found the courage to get out of my comfort zone and meet people I wouldn’t have met if it weren’t for J being in the military. Each person I met gave me a little more hope and a little more courage to attempt this military wife thing for real. Each friend has led me to today. Each experience has led me to here. And so I will not say goodbye because my first car, my friends, my experience will forever remain in my heart. So instead, I will say until we meet again, because one day I know we will – whether it be in our memories, or for real, we will always be connected.
My first car will always be my first car, so Electra, thank you for giving me the courage to start anew and see the world with a different view. I will never forget the feeling of driving around in my first car, knowing that even though I didn’t know how – I knew I’d be ok. I will miss you, but I promise you have years in you still and you’ll make someone else very happy. Until we meet again dear friend.
Living yoga in a military wife's life 