It’s funny how a little planning can change your perception. I came up with a routine the other day, that enables me to enjoy my free time, do yoga, and also feel productive. The little step of making a routine has changed everything. However, I must say, J’s news the other day of coming home earlier than expected probably helped as well.
In general this weekend went much better than expected.. So much so that driving to a friend’s house to celebrate her birthday on friday, I had an overwhelming sense of peace and happiness. How funny, I was happy and peaceful here in northern Quebec, alone. On top of that, I was going to a social event, something that usually gets me on edge (I’m a sever introvert at times – especially when J leaves). And, add to that I was driving to a part of town that I don’t know very well, without the GPS (because J has it). That alone would have sent me into panic mode before. The feeling of peace and contentment followed me throughout the weekend. May long weekend, the weekend I was afraid of, ended up being a weekend surrounded by peace, and great music. I have even started compiling a list of songs for my playlist to India, and have even chosen the song that is to be my theme song for my journey, my anchor (I will reveal that later).
If someone were to ask how does yoga help you off the mat, this weekend would be one of those examples. The overwhelming sense of peace, of a deep knowledge, even when it can’t be explained, that everything is as it should be, and finding peace in that. Looking back to even last year, this would have been impossible in my life. Now it’s unimaginable that it ever was a different way.
The weekend I dreaded was filled with joy and contentment. Don’t get me wrong, I miss J terribly, and every noise I hear outside I secretly hope its him returning home to surprise me (I wouldn’t put it past him to do something like that 🙂 ) but I have found peace, where before there was only chaos and confusion.
This morning, while I was doing my yoga practice, something the instructor on my downloaded session said struck me. I was doing moksha yoga, and the instructor was talking about the importance of the breath in yoga:
This is not about the pose you are in right now. It’s about life. This is about traffic jams, arguments, stressful situations. Can you take this peacefulness you have created with your breath into your life.
Can I find peace in chaos? I think I can, and I have. At that moment (we were in warrior 2) I focused on my breath, I had a faint smile on my face (as the instructor had suggested) and I knew I had found it, not only in the pose, but in life – this weekend.
The importance of this moment is beyond my capacity to explain. This was my goal setting out this year. I did it. I found peace, and I am genuinely happy, at a time a few months ago I would have sworn that I would be filled with pain and anger (due to not being posted). But this is not the case, and I owe it all to yoga. On my mat I have found peace but I have also found strength, and knowledge within myself.
And I know, life is not this easy, there will be times that I will falter and I will not breathe, but instead react to a stressful situation, or a traffic jam, but I now know that there is another way, and I believe that I if continue down this path, this awareness will become more accessible to me. For today, I am very proud that I got through the weekend happy and content. I am grateful for everything I have learned on my mat, and I am ready to continue on with my journey and see where the rest of the year is going to take me.
Living yoga in a military wife's life 